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Friday, April 08, 2005
3yrs being together / 3:48 PM

This is my 1st time writing a blog..wondering if i would carry on writing a blog everyday.But nvm todae i m writing to note down the 3yrs being together wif my boyfren.
I can still remember the 1st few month together wif him.We quarrel wif each other almost everyday.There is once that we quarrel till we broke up.At the very moment i was extremely upset and wanted to apologize to him and be together wif him.Y m i so persistant wif dis relationship is because it took mi alot of time before he could let go his dream gal and be wif mi.The moment i noe that he had feelings for mi,i m over the moon.I jump all around the room.Anyone who sees this must be saying dis ger is bull shitting.She must be thinking herself to be in a tv drama but this is true.It took mi to wait 2yrs before i can really be wif him.To cherish him is all i want.Thus,i became over protective everything to him seems to be too much.The topic we often quarrel is that he dun spent his time wif mi often go for badminton etc.And he is often complaining that i m controlling his life.
At that period of time i really cant feel how he felt.I m too possesive over his exisitance.I hope that he could spent every min and sec wif mi.As a result,i think,this causes alot of stress in him his result dropped terribly.We had lots of sad time together when we are 1st together.Every couple juz hope to hold hand with each other when together but i dunno y...think we are too shy...we took each other 6mth to start to hold hands.haha...cannot believe rite?i duno why we take so long juz to hold hands.And that day is the day when it's on my birthday.I wan to write dis down is because i dunno how long dis memory will last in me.
We are together during sec 3...time files its sec 5 now....we studied beri hard for our 'o's.After sch we will head straight to his hse take a nap and immediately do our revision.Sometimes we will also hide frm his dad and go to the nearby arcade and play.His dad is real fierce.Even though he is already sec 5 his dad still hate him goin to arcard..so evertime we got to sneak there when we earn ourselves some tickets,we will try to squeeze it into the room...and everytime we do that we told ourselves that after our 'o's we will go to that place and change something and take it as a present for ourselves but till now we are in poly we haf not done it...haha..probably due to insufficient tickets.Nvm.
Now 2005 we are in polytechnic.We got into the same course but different class.I m a ger hu is beri timid but i m not after i get use to the environment.hee..think almost everyone is lyk dat so the moment we knew that we are into diff class i feel so sad tears almost roll down my cheek.i dunno why but i m lyk that.Maybe i m born wif dis weakness.Everytime when i feel sad,my tears will juz roll down my cheek.haha..ppl must be thinking i m a cry baby but i m not..i will try to keep everything down in my heart and thus cry at home when no one is ard...
We are in the diff class for 1yr already and that means our circle of frens are diff.He got into a class of frens hu are beri sporty and outgoing and i got into a group of frens hu are not sporty and not outgoing...He and i are no longer close.The type of things he does and mine often dun click.What i mean by that is....each and everyone of us got a heart my heart now is totally on him and maple(a game) mahjong.But of coz my 1st pirorty is always him.Whenever i do sumthin i will always think of him wheather if dis he can join in or not...or get him sumthing and blah blah blah..but to him,his heart is frens,Counter strike,mahjong,maple and mi.To him counter strike come 1st den follow by mahjong and then frens...and lastly mi...
I dunno if it is due to the fact that in the past we had too much time together which makes mi feel that he doesnt gif mi enuff time.In the past,every sunday i will always go to his house.In sec sch,on sundays we study.After sec sch,is the 6mths break....we bet on soccer and play mahjong...after the 6mths break which is in poly life i would be in his hse to play mahjong but now...i will be at home to watch my parents play mahjong.I feel so weird at his hse although we have been together for so long.But if i dun go to his hse,he dun feel anything he juz lead his normal lifestyle..play mahjong as usual.Even if i ask him out,he would sae there is sumthing wrong in mi..I really dun understand wat is wrong wif our relationship.
Why is it that he is even if i m not around wif him for so long he can take it as nuthing happen...Everynite we will call each other biding each other gd nitel..Everynite i will call him.but to him it makes no diff if he dun call for once.Does he noe how i feel?i doubt so..cause he don't feel anything.all he noes is juz to get angry wif mi.What can i do?if things goes on lyk dat i really duno how long we will be together...probably the next time i write a blog it would be one that is abt why we broke up and how we broke up....


/ believe in wonderland,
with you in my mind
it's not that hard to believe
i'm in wonderland
and that's where I am
only a place to where we know
and never escape into reality
plunge into a fantasy

just about my love



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07. To Love You More.mp3 - Celine Dion